Let me hear you call my name.
I go by the name FYDA ♥ Nineteen and Blissfully in love. Red Roses. Chocolates. Music. Laughoutloud. Roll the credits.
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yesterday was it.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
it hurts real bad when YOU of all people whom i have been loving for years, and was the one who raised me up and doted on me, criticised me simply because i wasnt sure of certain things.i'm totally aware of the fact that you were having a bad day yesterday but that shouldnt be an excuse for you to vent your anger on me. Not on ME. for Allah sake, you did before ask me to change my attitude, but what about YOU yourself? it has always been me listening to YOU. but how about listening to what your daughter has to say here sometimes? it's been years since i asked you to quit smoking, but you didnt. and now, what i'm merely asking for is for you to change your attitude. is that so hard to ask for? and fyi, i've been studying damn fcuking hard to impress you and the rest and make you people be proud of me. but do you really care? do you really gave me the motivation and encouragement to do even better? Hell NO! it has always been elder brother whom you praised every now and then for what, being handsome? being such a smart ass in Maths? it has also been younger brother eventhough he's already turning 10 but still sleeps with you and even if he didnt do well, he still get whatever he asked for? are you even aware of all this thing that is happening? Huh, YOU never knew. i'm not trying to be rude here, but seriously fyi, i've been holding back this thing here since i was young. and yesterday was it. i couldnt hold the heart-pain anymore and that explains my rudeness. to add on, how could you without any proof sarcastically say that i'm getting engaged? for Allah sake, what the hell was wrong with YOU? i didnt do any fucking damn shit wrong for YOU to say i'm getting engaged? Huh, it was pretty damn obvious that you were hinting on Azhar. well, let me tell you A FACT. ever since i'm with Azhar, my studies have NEVER ever dropped. NEVER. in fact, because of him, i feel real motivated to go school. if you have any problem with me, settle it with just me. dont ever bring in Azhar or whoever because as a matter of fact, there's no reason for you to do that because i still did well in school. and yea, after all these shit, i did apologised to you but did YOU even turn to look at me? YOU didnt. why? because i bet, i hit the nail on YOUR HEAD to make you realise that you were at fault all this while. call me sensitive or whatsnot. because let me just say, it's all in the genes. lets just see till when you gonna make the move to talk to me. but i know, even if anyone realise you're having a tiff with me, i bet people will think i'm the rude one, i should give in. but heck, this time, i know it's not gonna be me. let people say what they wanna say. cause i know, i'm stating all the facts right in here. you told me to not talk to you as a Dad anymore. it hurts, but you never understood. hope you're happy with that. fret not, you still have your two beloved sons. & i thank Azhar for always being with me especially during times like this. and to all, i dont mean to be find sympathy by writing all this shit here, but sorry, i just have to let it out. |
Runaway.
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